Today I asked DM is playing mind games with us! under impulse, focusing on sharing concerns and not on overall quality. So varied answers and some comments made me think it's almost too opinion based or "not a question". Additionally hasty translation provided early misunderstandings.

I'd like to ask this question anew, but my primary trouble is "I feel the game is unfair", even though the problem is real. And because of feeling I can't objectively describe how exactly it is wrong without sounding ridiculous.

I see couple ways to go on from there. I could:

  • Leave question as is and accept an answer in couple days that seems most relevant.
  • Answer the question myself based on all existing answers, which will seem out of place.
  • Redo the question from scratch, leaving answers bit inadequate
  • Dwell on examples, hopefully explaining situation in detail enough to get on my train of thoughts.
  • Emphasize the feeling like in previous paragraph, which imo will result in closing.

I am a new poster, but not a new visitant. How should I proceed?


3 Answers 3


You need to show a problem that needs solving. The question was too much of a rant. I read that question twice asking myself "where is the real question". So you need to take one aspect of the issue and dissect it.

In Stack questions, objectivity is king. Death to the author. Your opinion is worthless. Stick to the facts, and show us a problem that needs solving.

In your particular quesiton, you just sound salty. There is subjectivity peppered everywhere (bolding mine):

"I'm just answering your questions" he commented. (Oh, the irony)

And borderline paranoia...

In my opinion (...) it was just another way to plant doubt in us.

..that is not shared by the rest of the table:

In my opinion the game had pacing problem, but other players didn't think it was. However, during one prolonged in-character group chat our DM spontaneously rolled his trusty Munchkin d10. Apparently, nothing happened, it was just another way to plant doubt in us.

Right at that point, a reader of your question can challenge that the problem is with you, not with the GM or the way the game is being run.

Then it becomes a problem of faith:

I can't really pinpoint how exactly that attitude is wrong, but it definitely is.

Don't go with your guts. Guts are unreliable.

Everything you mention the GM doing can be attributed to a particular gamemastering style (of being cryptic and using riddles for everything).

So, once again:

Where is the objective, well defined problem that needs solving?

  • \$\begingroup\$ +1 for breaking it down to basics. Nice job. \$\endgroup\$ Jul 2, 2017 at 23:46

Your question is "why is what the DM is doing wrong, and how do I approach talking to him about it", yes?

If so, I suggest breaking the question apart into 2 questions:

  1. Is my DM wrong to answer these questions like this.

  2. How should I talk to him about my concerns?

The tenor of the second question is dramatically affected by you and the community having come to an agreement about the first question, and it is quite difficult to discuss the second question while the first one is left without a consensus.

However, if you broke the question up like that, I'd only have to copy-paste my own answer from the original question to answer both of them, so from my perspective, it won't change anything for me unless you were able to dramatically change the information presented relative to the first question.

  • \$\begingroup\$ Talking to him was never my concern, I need to find about what exacly to talk about. And about "dramatically" - that's exacly what I mean with my 4th point. \$\endgroup\$ Jun 27, 2017 at 19:15
  • \$\begingroup\$ By contrast, my answer only lightly addresses the second question, so I would not provide it as an answer to a split question. \$\endgroup\$
    – T.J.L.
    Jun 27, 2017 at 19:23
  • \$\begingroup\$ @KrzysztofSkibiński, I feel like there's a lot of good answers to what I've labeled "the first question" already, and the ones I've read all generally have the same tone: the DM isn't being unreasonable in how he is answering questions. \$\endgroup\$
    – godskook
    Jun 27, 2017 at 19:34
  • \$\begingroup\$ "The tenor of the second question is dramatically affected by you and the community having an agreement" You mean "disagreement"? (I can't edit) :) \$\endgroup\$
    – xDaizu
    Jul 3, 2017 at 14:51
  • \$\begingroup\$ @xDaizu, I meant agreement. As in, what they agree on. Without an agreement, OP shouldn't even ASK the second question, because he'll just get answers to the first question again. \$\endgroup\$
    – godskook
    Jul 3, 2017 at 15:01
  • \$\begingroup\$ @xDaizu, also, you're probably better-off suggesting contentious edits via comments, rather than risk an edit-war. \$\endgroup\$
    – godskook
    Jul 3, 2017 at 15:04
  • \$\begingroup\$ @godskook I know, I know, I very recently had one of those... but it was quickly solved. \$\endgroup\$
    – xDaizu
    Jul 3, 2017 at 15:12
  • \$\begingroup\$ Tense-wise, "dramatically affected by having […] an agreement" inherently states that an agreement exists, which is apparently not the desired meaning. I think you might want "dramatically contingent on having…"? \$\endgroup\$ Jul 4, 2017 at 0:14
  • \$\begingroup\$ @SevenSidedDie, I figured out which words I was missing \$\endgroup\$
    – godskook
    Jul 4, 2017 at 4:16

In general, once a question has answers we don't like to change it drastically, or the existing answers and upvotes won't really make much sense. Your question and several answers have received many upvotes, so if it's not satisfactory to you then I would not accept an answer or accept a close enough answer and try to post a new, more refined question. In this case, based in part on the answers you received, I think the question you are trying to get at is something closer to "My preferred play style seems to be very different from the rest of the group, and I am feeling very frustrated. What is the best way to proceed?"


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